When Life's Not Fair, God's Still There: Sermon on Genesis 39:1-23

    This is the sermon for Sunday, September 23, 2018 at Langford Lutheran Parish.

    Scripture readings are Genesis 39:1-23. Psalm 105:1-6, 16-22 and Matthew 5:11-12

When Life's Not Fair, God's Still There

Note: This is my first attempt at recording and posting a sermon, so any comments to let me know how the audio worked would be greatly appreciated!

#metoo #whyididntreport: Joseph and Potiphar's Wife

Trigger Waring:  sexual assault, abuse

If you are a victim of sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673.  There is someone there waiting to hear your story, to believe you.


I'm wrestling with the readings for this Sunday's sermon.  How do I preach Potiphar's wife's sexual harassment of her servant, Joseph and her false accusation that lands him in jail? (You can read this part of Joseph's story here.)

It's a story that seems ripped from the headlines.

It's a story that is too close to home for too many of us.

One of the major concerns in the many online preacher discussions of this test is the specter of a woman giving false accusations against a man.  Will this story give fuel to the fire of those who insist Ms. Ford is giving false accusations against Supreme Court nominee Kavanagh?  Will this story only reinforce the ages old myth that women often falsely accuse men of sexual assault and rape? Doesn't this scrpture passage prove that all the #metoo stories are just that - stories made up to harm the accused in some way?

Using these false accusations against Joseph to promote this myth of the untrustworthiness of the female victim is to do violence not only to the victim but also to the scriptural text.  For Joseph is not the falsely accused alleged aggressor, but the falsely blamed victim.  It's easy at first glance to allow the gender roles to blind us to what is happening her:  a person with power harasses and then vilifies an underling. 

Make no mistake, this is NOT a story of a woman accusing a man (falsely or not) of attempted rape.  This is about a employer/slave owner repeatedly harassing a servant/slave and then blaming them when the abuse is discovered. 

Well, then, there's victim blaming for that too.  Why didn't Joseph tell #whyididntreport?

Seriously?  He was never even given the chance.  Potiphar believes his wife, who cleverly enlisted other slaves in the household to support her story.  Slaves who probably were well aware of her pursuit of Joseph. Could they have been jealous of the attention she gave him?  The favors of the mistress of the house were a way for a slave to better himself or herself. Slaves who probably didn't understand why Joseph didn't take the opportunity presented him.  Even if jealously didn't drive their ready agreement with her story, what other choice did they have?  She owned them - literally.  They also could be falsely accused. 

When you think about the extreme imbalance of power, it is amazing that Joseph didn't give in to her demands.  She owned him (through her husband of course). Joseph had control over the whole household, except her.  But he was hers to command. 

And he refused.

This is one story - one of the few - in the Bible where there is a male victim of sexual assault. The Bible is full of stories where women are sexually assaulted or raped, but do we believe them? 

No, our biblical foremothers are blamed or deemed complicit in their assaults.  In matters of sex, it seems, the sin is always the woman's.

It is a story ripped from the headlines.

Too many women are blamed for the sexual harassment and assault they have suffered.

Too many women are labeled as liars when they report the assault.  Labeled as complicit, “asking for it.”  Blamed for waiting “too long” to report. Assumed to have ulterior motives for coming forward later when they are (finally!) strong enough to talk about the assault.

Held responsible – “she should have known better.”

Held as guilty until they are proven innocent of making false charges, of trying to “ruin” a man’s life.

If we are uncomfortable with this story in our Bible, it’s because it is far too close to home for far too many of us:

For the victims who relive their nightmares in the words of this story

For the abusers who fear that the scriptural truth of this passage might just succeed in shining a light in the dark places of their own lives.

For the Potiphars who find it more comfortable and convenient to believe the powerful.


 If you are a victim of sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673.  There is someone there waiting to hear your story, to believe you.

Promises You Can Count On: God will protect you

Whenever I read any part of the Joseph story from Genesis (starts in chapter 37 and goes to the end of Genesis, with a few asides regarding other members of the family), songs start playing in my head.

I read the list of Jacob's sons in Genesis 35 and my mind starts right in

Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel
With Simeon and Levi the next in line
Naphtali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan
Zebulun and Gad took the total to nine
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Benjamin and Judah, which leaves only one 
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Joseph - Jacob's favorite son

I read about the beautiful coat Jacob gives his favorite son, and suddenly, 

It was red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose...

I blame it on my daughter appearing not once, but twice (and I was also in it the second time) in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Part of the reason that these songs come back so easily is that she still knows ALL. THE. WORDS and tends to randomly burst into song.

Back to Joseph...

When I read the story of Joseph in Potiphar's house, Genesis 39:1-23, the song that comes to mind is not the fun, riotous, and a bit naughty Potiphar, but the song from when Joseph is in prison.  Close Every Door had a wistful, haunting melody combined with words of pure faith:

Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me
Bar all the windows
And shut out the light
Do what you want with me,
Hate me and laugh at me
Darken my daytime
And torture my night
If my life were important I
Would ask will I live or die
But I know the answers lie
Far from this world 

Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
Children of Israel
Are never alone
For I know I shall find
My own peace of mind
For I have been promised
A land of my own 

Joseph relies fully on God's promises - God's promise to Abraham to go with him everywhere he goes (last week's promise), God's promise to remember God's people.  He believes so completely in the covenant promise of land, descendants, and blessings that overflow to bless all the families of the world that he sings of his own unimportance in God's great plan.  It's enough that God is with him.

And it's true - God has not forgotten Joseph.  God is with Joseph and God is protecting Joseph.

Wait - you say - some kind of protection that is! Joseph is in prison - unfairly accused of a crime he didn't commit! And he's far from his family in Egypt, sold as a slave, by HIS OWN brothers!  

True.  Joseph has had some pretty tough times lately.  But look at verse 2:

The Lord was with Joseph, 

and he became a successful man 

and served in his Egyptian master’s household. 

In fact, Joseph was so successful, that Potiphar turned everything over to Joseph to handle.  Every. Single, Thing.   

Just like with his brothers and their jealously of his father's favor, jealously rears it's ugly head.  Some scholars believe that the motivation behind Potiphar's wife's seduction of Joseph was that she  resented Joseph because he was in charge of everything - even the things she would have been in charge over.  Successfully seducing him was a sure fire way to get rid of him - and get her power back.

She wasn't successful.  Joseph was to loyal to Potiphar, and to God.  But it didn't matter.  She had staged the scene so skillfully that she was able to make everyone believe that Joseph tried to seduce her.  (I would be remiss if I didn't point out that this text is problematic in today's #metoo culture.  True, Potiphar's wife made a false accusation against Joseph, but then, as now, false accusations are the exception.  There are many, many more accounts in the Bible of sexual abuse and violence against women, than there are false accusations made about men by a woman. Update:  I have since read a blogger who discusses in depth Josesph as a male survivor of sexual assualt  against other biblical stories of sexual assualt and accusations.)

Joseph goes to prison, where he again prospers. Look at verse 21

the Lord was with Joseph and remained loyal to him. 

He caused the jail’s commander to think highly of Joseph.

Once again Joseph is put in charge of everything.  

Later on in chapter 41, Joseph is brought from prison to interpret Pharaoh's dream.  God is with Joseph, and he successfully interprets the dream, advising Pharaoh what to do to prepare for the upcoming crisis.  Gratefully, Pharaoh puts Joseph (you guessed it) in charge of everything.

God protected Joseph, turning the bad (evil) that Joseph encountered to good.  In chapter 50 (verse 20), Joseph reassures his brothers that he won't seek revenge on them for selling him into slavery:

You planned something bad for me, 

but God produced something good from it, 

in order to save the lives of many people, 

just as he’s doing today.

Joseph's story reminds me that no matter what happens to me, God's got my back. Bad things happen - to good people, and to flawed people.  Yet, God's plans always prevail.  As St. Athanasius once said, "God writes straight with crooked lines."  God is in the business of bringing life out of death, of creating beauty out of brokenness, of turning chaos into order.  

Believing in God doesn't we're exempt from pain and sorrow - in fact Jesus promises that we will face trials and troubles - but God is with us in those times, blessing us again to bless those around us.  

I call that real protection!

You can count on it!

Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
Children of Israel
Are never alone
For we know we shall find
Our own peace of mind 
For we have been promised
A land of our own

Promises you can count on: God goes with you

Let's catch up on the promises: 

In last week's reading, God promised Noah that whenever God saw the rain-bow in the sky, God would remember how much God loves humans and all of creation and not destroy it with a flood again.  I think of a parent looking a the mess the teenager just made and remembering how cute he or she was as a toddler so while the parent might punish the teen, the parent doesn’t give up on the teen.

God doesn’t give up on us either.  God remembers us.

This Sunday we hear what is usually described as God’s call to Abraham.  Except Abraham is not Abraham yet, he is Abram – God changes his name later in the story.  And this is the first of three times God makes a promise to Abraham ( See Genesis 15:1-15 and 17).  Ok, the second and third promises are really restatements of the first:

 I will make of you a great nation and will bless you. I will make your name respected, and you will be a blessing.

 I will bless those who bless you,
    those who curse you I will curse;
        all the families of the earth
            will be blessed because of you.” (Genesis 12:2-3, CEB)

You see, while God always fulfills God's promises, it's not always on our time table.  And this promise takes a looooong time to fill.

A very long time:

             - Abraham is 100 and Sarah is 90 when Isaac is born

             - It takes basically 25 years for Abraham to get to the land God promises.

Abraham never sees the promise completely fulfilled.

Yet Abraham stakes his life and that of his family on God's promise and moves out, going to a land God will show them.  He doesn't even know where they are going, or how long it will take!

This promise God makes is one of the Big Five - the covenants with Noah, with Moses and Hebrew-slaves-turned-free, with David, and the new covenant Jeremiah proclaims.  So it's a really big deal.  

But I'm thinking about the promise under the promises.  The unspoken promise that Abram relies on when he tells Sarai (Sarah's name gets changed later too) to pack up everything to move to a place God will show them.  

The promise of God's presence.

I think that Abraham trusted that God would be with him, every step of the way.  And even though the fulfillment of the grand promise was slow in coming, Abram/Abraham knew that he was never alone.

God was with him.  

That promise is for you and me too.  God never leaves us.  

God goes with us.

Even when we have no idea where we are going.

Promises you can count on: God remembers!

In the good times and in the bad, what do you count on?

This fall we’re exploring the promises God makes in the Bible to Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses and the Israelites.  God makes a lot of promises, and God always keeps them.

God’s promises are promises you can count on.

Last Sunday, we missed talking about the promise God made to Noah and all creation.  Let me catch you up.

You remember the story? Genesis 6:5-9:17 tells the whole story, or you can skip to chapter ( to read about God's promise to Noah.  Let me summarize for you:  

The earth was full of wickedness and God decided to start over.  So, God washed the world clean with a flood.  

Except – Noah finds favor in God’s sight.  

So, God tells Noah to build an ark and put two of every animal in it (or two of every wild animal and seven pairs of the domestic animals, check out Genesis 6:20 and 7:1-3) along with Noah’s family.  After Noah and his family and animals are safe on the ark, God sends a flood and kills everyone else (yeah- pretty gruesome for a story that is used as a nursery backdrop!).

God sees the damage done to the creation God loves and decides that this is not the way to go.  No more.  No matter how bad humans get, not matter how much we mess things up, God’s not going to cover the earth with a flood again. 

And God sets the rainbow in the sky to remind God to remember this promise.  This is a reminder to God, not to us.  While rainbows are cool, and pretty, and I usually think of this promise God made when I see one, the rainbow is not for us.  It’s for God.  To remember.

The word for “bow” is the weapon, not the pretty ribbon we put on packages.  And I think that’s pretty significant.  The warrior hangs up his bow, and God hung God’s bow up in the sky.  And in doing so, God promises to remember

-          To remember the promise God made to Noah and all creation to not destroy it with flood

But also

-          To remember the humans that God created, to remember who we are in all our failings and brokenness. 

This is the story that the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament) tell:  how God’s promise to remember humans and our need to be reconciled with God moves God to select a particular man and woman to bless so that through them God’s blessing flows to the whole world.

But that’s  another story and another promise!

Girls just wanna have fun (without worrying about getting assaulted)

Last night my daughter and I went out to engage in our favorite mother-daughter bonding ritual:  singing karaoke.

I was singing something new (we had agreed that tonight would be a "try songs we haven't sung at karaoke before" night) when I looked over and saw two men had wasted no time zeroing in on my daughter. 

Her body language clearly stated, "I'm not interested, I'm just being polite."  Of course, this happens every time we go out.  Often, when I come back to the table the predator-oops-man will then leave to wait for an opportune time to resume his pursuit - usually when I sing next, or if she leaves the table to go to the bathroom.  Anyway, these two guys persisted in the face of both of our exceedingly clear signals that we weren't interested in continuing the conversation.

It made me angry - totally pissed off. 

I was angry at the male assumption that two women, who were clearly enjoying each other's company, would really be much happier talking to men than to each other.  After all, women who go to bars are automatically signalling they are looking for men, right? (Sarcasm sign!) 

I was angry that the night before, when we were out with my husband and her boyfriend and my son, not one man hit on either of us. NOT ONE! Apparently, having so many men with us was a signal to other men that we were not available.  Although, this too is no guarantee. Both of us have been hit on when we were on dates.

I was angry that it didn't matter that I was wearing a wedding ring and it wouldn't have mattered if she had had one on too.  It didn't matter that she had a boyfriend.  After all - our men let us go out alone, so they must not care too much about us (again sarcasm!).  And obviously my husband and her boyfriend couldn't even begin to measure up to their obnoxious, drunken charm - right? (Do I need to keep adding the sarcasm alerts?)

I was angry that there were at least five men who hit on her that evening.  That two men hit on wedding-ring-wearing me.  That as we talked about it, my daughter said "Welcome to my life."  To which I responded, "My life too.  And the life of every woman, everywhere."

I was angry that my 20-something daughter can't go out to karaoke by herself.  She has to make sure she has a friend with her.  Otherwise the male attention goes from hitting on her to groping, following her to her car, or pressuring her to leave with them. 

I was angry that when she got up to sing, I needed to move her drink in front of me.  And she had to do the same for me.  We had to keep our drinks in our line of sight at all times, which got in the way of watching the singers and supporting each other when we sang, and generally enjoying the evening. 

I was angry that I needed to teach her to never accept a drink directly from a stranger, only from the bartender or waitress's hand.  And if she ever has any doubt, throw the drink out and get a new one.  Women just can't be too careful - drinks can be spiked so easily:  she could have been raped.  That I needed to teach her that her drink is just as likely to be spiked (and it has been!) in the small rural community where we live as it is in a big city.


Let me stop and address those who are thinking, "Well, you must have encouraged them!" Not that it should matter, but neither one of us were dressed provocatively.  To say otherwise is to blame the victim.  Besides, it really doesn't matter how a woman is dressed - just check the display of sexual assault survivors' clothing, titled  "What were you wearing?"  We weren't drunk, neither of us were even consuming alcohol - not that it matters.  Again, that is victim blaming.  (Listen to Chris Janson's Take a Drunk Girl Home to discover the proper way to treat drunk women).

So, why didn't we ask them to leave us alone?  To be honest, I was thinking that I should be a role model for my daughter and politely ask them to leave us alone, saying that we just wanted to spend some mother-daughter bonding time.  But I hesitated to be so direct.  I was brought up to be polite. Still, I avoided eye contact, made minimal responses to their attempts at conversation and literally gave them the cold shoulder.  All passive responses, and I wondered why I was so reluctant to just say, "We're not interested in talking with you."  (OK, I really wanted to say, "We don't want to talk to your drunk-ass." but that REALLY would be been going to far!)

Then I thought of the frisson of fear that went through me when my daughter mentioned that we were going to the grocery.  Would they follow us when we left, knowing we would be at Walmart (the only place open that late)?  And I realized that my hesitation to be direct was fear - fear of how these men would react if we rejected them.

Women worry about this.  When I was a young adult, we would joke, "He's probably an ax murderer?"  But underneath the joke was the frightening reality:  we have no way of knowing if the guy hitting on us will turn violent if we reject him  ( a quick google of "boy who killed girl over rejection" yielded these:  Sante Fe Shooter Rejected By Girl He Killed,  indiana-man-fatally-shot-girlfriend-rejected-marriage-proposal  and  Talk to Girls about the Boys Who Might Kill Them or toxic-masculinity-is-killing-women-why-arent-men-more-concerned). 

A word to those of you reading this and thinking, "That's not me.  I would never harass or hurt a woman. The women I talk to in bars enjoy my company.  I don't pressure them, and if she asks me to leave her alone, I do. But no one has ever asked me to leave."  OK, maybe - just maybe - she enjoys your company.  Or maybe she's worried about how you will react if she's asks you to leave.  You might not be dangerous, but she has no way of knowing if you're one of the good guys, a predator pretending to be a good guy, an outright predator. And make no mistake, she has been taught to be polite and not anger you just in case you are the predator in good guy's clothing.

Last night, I smiled (but not too much), I politely responded when necessary, I was vigilant about watching for our safety.

And I longed for the day when a mother and daughter could simply go out for a time of fun, relaxation and bonding. For a time when anger and fear doesn't lurk beneath the surface of a girls' night out.

I longed for a day when women can have fun without worrying about being assaulted.